She’s waited for years without receiving an acceptable opportunity so she decides she needs to make the first move, narrows her prospects, and puts her plan into action. But it takes longer than she guessed it would so she has to push harder at the very end to meet her goal. Will he cooperate and give her the graduation gift she most desires? And if he does, what happens after that?
A peek inside:
“I think I can somewhat understand. I suppose if you already have something else planned in your future which might interfere with a relationship, you can plan to have a temporary relationship with another person as long as you’re honest and share that information with the other person. Instead of thinking of a relationship as temporary, even though ultimately all of them are, think of the relationship as one which is still developing as you get to know the other person. As the individuals in a relationship learn more about each other, each person in that relationship can be deciding if what they’re learning encourages them to keep the relationship going. Or they may decide there’s some sort of a problem at which point they should discuss the problem to see if they think it’s worth fixing or whether it might be time to back the relationship up to a lighter level which both of them are willing to maintain.”
“Why did you say that all relationships are temporary?”
“What do you or society in general consider to be the most permanent relationship between two people?”
“A marriage.”
“Yet even there in the standard vows it says, ‘until death do us part’. Maybe it is a permanent relationship from the perspective of the person who died since it lasted the rest of their life, but it’s not permanent if one of the partners lives longer. However, the way it works for most people is ‘until divorce do us part’.”
“I’ve seen the statistics which makes me hesitant about wanting to commit myself to that type of a relationship, especially since I don’t think I’m any better than other people or that I could make it work when they couldn’t.”
“Good for you.”
Since she’s surprised at his statement, she asks, “Why do you say that?”
“Because you’re aware of your limitations, at least of some which might affect a marriage. So, why do you think marriages don’t work?”
“There are lots of reasons.”
He takes a drink then suggests, “There are lots of excuses given, but I think there are only two basic reasons.”
“What are they?”
“The people involved don’t really know themselves or are honest with themselves much less with the other person and the second reason is that the people don’t take the time to get to know each other in a variety of situations. Instead of learning who they or the other person really are, each of them is spending their time trying to impress the other person or trying to fulfill society’s expectations. On top of that, each person often has unspoken expectations they want the other person to fulfill after the ceremony. Once the glitz and glam and sparkle are over and the reality of daily living intrudes on their lives, one morning they wake up and wonder who the stranger is who looks just like their spouse.”
She takes a drink and thinks about that for a little while before she asks, “So, do you have a solution?”
“No. Instead of a solution, I have an alternate.”
“What’s that?”
“For the people who are interested in having a relationship to be as honest as they can be with themselves and with the other person and to take the time to develop the relationship. Instead of trying to plug the relationship into a societal approved mold, let the people involved mutually determine the extent and the shape of their relationship. I know it’s rather idealistic and probably would seldom work in real life, but if there’s no ideal concept to work towards, people will just go along with the status quo and too often end up being miserable and just encourage the next generation to make the same stupid mistakes all over again.”
