Sick of Big Budget Hollywood Horse$£@t?
Tired of all those prequels to remakes of adaptations brought to you by the producers of a remake of a sequel?
Of course you are! The $250m features playing the multiplex are so rarely great fun that anyone seeking a night at the movies had better learn to appreciate the trashy, schlocky stupid joys of a midnight screening.
Who needs flying wizards, wisecracking pirates and fighting robots when you can watch rubber-suited monsters chase starlets across the post-nuke wilderness where bonkers b-movie boffins with dippy dialogue and maniacal master-plans are stitching together a centerfold from the bodies of eviscerated coeds?
With their bad acting, worse dubbing and props made from household appliances, these 'epics' may fail on every cinematic principle but they're not selling you soft drinks and computer games, they're not made in conjunction with a toy manufacturer and they're not produced by Michael Bay. They never fail at being entertaining - because what's the point of a movie that does?
